Another Alaska winter is upon us, with a torrent of snow and storms...and for the past few months I have really been suffering with my
rheumatoid arthritis (RA). I don't know if it's the weather, failure of
the "miracle" medications, or a little of both, but I have been
debilitated more often than not. While most of the large joints in my
body are affected in some way, the worst are the knuckles at the base of my
fingers/middle of my hands, and the middle of my feet. At times it feels
like someone is taking a sledgehammer to them. There are days where it is
impossible to grip anything heavy or get around easily without a cane...if I'm
not totally wiped out and confined to the couch.
One night last week, after a particularly bad day of pain, I
was having an ugly cry. I was laying in bed, sobbing, angry, and
literally crying out to God: Why me? Why aren't the
treatments working any more? Why can't I play with my kids and do crafts with
them and everything a Mommy should do? Why did you give me skills and talents
and then let me suffer with a disease that prevents me from using
them? What if I become completely disabled? Do you have any idea how
much pain I am in? Emotionally and physically??
And then I hear it. The still, quiet voice.
"My dear child, I have felt your pain."
And it hits me. No, Jesus did not have RA.
However, He did have nails driven through the middle of his hands, and the
middle of his feet. I'm sure his other joints weren't too happy either
once he was hoisted up on that cross. He didn't have miracle drugs, or
even some super-strength NSAID or a narcotic to take the edge off. No, He
endured His pain, hour after agonizing hour, until it drained the very life
from His body. Oh, and while I didn't sign up to have RA, Jesus did
volunteer for this pain. He willingly took it on, along with my sin and
that of all humanity, to give us all the opportunity to live with him
eternally.
Perspective, indeed, is everything.
I can view my life and circumstances through a worldly lens, and wallow in the unfairness of it all, or I can choose to see things through the lens of His Glory:
-- On the days that I feel great and can do everything I
need to or want to, I am a testament to His MERCY. I don't
deserve a healthy, fit body, or my blessed life with financial security and a
nice house and a strong, faithful, handsome husband and three beautiful
children and a good job. I deserve nothing but eternal pain and
damnation, except for the cleansing power of His pain on that cross. I
can be thankful for every day that I enjoy these blessings and not what I truly
deserve.
-- On the days that I'm achy and tired, but still able to
function, I am a testament to His GRACE -- grace that strengthens me and
enables me to power through the day even though I'd rather be in bed. His
grace is new every morning, and He will provide the daily bread I need to work,
parent, and minister.
-- On the days that I'm laid out flat, immobile and
exhausted, I am a testament to His LOVE -- for it is then that I get a taste of
the painful sacrifice he made for me. It is frustrating
-- yet I can choose to be thankful, because the battles of this world
have already been won. As His child, victory is already mine. The
pain and frustration of this life only makes the joy awaiting me in His Kingdom
that much more clear and amazing. Nothing can separate me from His love
or His salvation. I know this, because His Word says so: For I am
convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the
present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything
else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is
in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)
The worldly lens shows an unjust curse, pain, and
despair. God's lens reveals MERCY, GRACE, and LOVE. Hope!!
Dear Lord, please give me the strength and the faith to
view my circumstances through your lens each and every day. Amen.
They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you
will be saved -- you and your household." -- Acts 16:31
But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly
await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables
him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so
that they will be like his glorious body. -- Phillipians
3:20-21
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of
things has passed away. -- Revelation 21:4
ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE:
"We pray for healing, for prosperity.
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.
All the while, You hear each spoken need.
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things...
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?"
-- "Blessings" by Laura StoryWe pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.
All the while, You hear each spoken need.
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things...
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?"
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